Whew! I finally finished The Comprehensive Exam in Political Science this morning (which is where I have been for the last few days). According to the august researchers of this university, I now have a license to do research (does that make me a James Bond of the political science world).

Apparently, I flubbed the second section of the exam a bit, and it was the strong first section.

More disconcerting than the actual exam is the waiting afterwards. During the exam, they ask questions, you answer, they push, you push back. It's kind of intimidating, because you're often operating at the edge of knowledge. The edge of one's knowledge is a great place to be as you are learning or teaching something new to a colleague who wants to know more also, but it's really uncomfortable when one is being examined and evaluated on how well you hold up at that edge.

So now I'm at home, listening to the "sacrilege" that is Leonard Bernstein's *Mass*. The screeds of the congregation and celebrant run back and forth to despair and glimpses of the holy -- it's one of my favorite pieces of contemporary music. Faith is revered, reviled, torn down, built up, and reknown in the course of two hours.

What I love about the "theatre piece" is that it's full of contradictions that enrich its artistic tapestry. The congregants celebrating the mass (for the piece is based upon the Roman Liturgy, pre-Vatican II, so it's appealing to little pretty-high-church Anglicans like me) are sinners, drunkards, prisoners, swindlers, tricksters, believers, and doers. The words and music vary between the structure of the Latin rite and near-nonsense streams of angry consciousness, between formal riffs on traditional church music and Beethoven on one hand and West Side Story and cacophony on the other. The Celebrant presides, using the authority of his office, of his moral stature, of his possession of the sacraments, and ultimately his faith is broken, and he smashes the transubstantiated Elements to the floor, where they break and spill. But everyone is brought back together in the end by a simple song, a "Lauda, Laudete Deum" (Praise, Praise to You O God), that grows and swells to the full power of the choruses and the orchestra, a simple melody and theme that multiply like loaves and fishes to feed thousands. The "players" are broken individually, healed communally, and brought into Communion with one another. Even more interestingly, this work that on its surface is so Christian was woven by a Jewish composer. But he obviously understood the heart of faith so well as to be able to transcend the restraints of specific religion to engage the universality of life in faith.

It's probably this piece and U2's *All That You Can't Leave Behind* that are the best contemporary musical representations of faith, doubt, love, and grace.

Dear God, there's too much to do right now:
1. Continue reviewing for the mother of all exams
2. Keep up with reading for classes, enrolled or not
3. Get my rowers in a boat an on the river three times this week (I cox for the Dudley House Men's C Boat)
4. READ
5. Try to go to the gym (i'm not gettin exercise in the seat of the boat)
6. Whatever else may come up
7. See the boyfriend
8. Eat?

I feel self-conscious doing this, as I have lurked in the background of many blogs before, and I have always found the meta-narrative of blogging to be a difficult one. Yeah, these are your private thoughts, but the world (or at least random people) may be reading them. Hmm.

No time to keep thinking about this though, as there's bunches of other work to do.

I forgot to mention this massively important thing that happened yesterday: my goddaughter was born! 21 inches, 8 pounds, 4 ounces. "Kate"'s her name.
I'm thrilled! I think her parents are too, but they sounded tired on the phone yesterday morning, so obvious exhiliaration will probably take a while to sink in.
I wonder what she looks like...? I won't get to see her for a couple of months, when she's baptized on Pentecost. I kind of hope they send pictures soon....

Boston is a foul temptress. The latter part of this week has been beautiful, and now the rain is pouring down again....

Thought I would join the revolution on blogging.

Of course, since I have a field exam to do soon, this is all probably an exercise in procrastination.

I am wasting the day away, and I feel like I should put something more profound in here, like my thoughts on the moral bankruptcies of both the left and the right on the war. But time's a tickin' away....